Archive for January, 2010

scaredy cat

January 28, 2010

I haven’t tested. I can’t get myself to do it. I really just can’t handle the disappointment. I’d rather wait until the end of the month and see if I get my period or not. Weird, I know. But it almost allows me to keep up this fantasy of “what if?”

So, there you have it, I’m a scaredy cat!

P.S. Isn’t this the cutest photo of my kitty Zoe! She’s my precious little one.

to test — or not to test

January 26, 2010

That is the question.

I saw my acupuncturist this morning and she asked me again if I took a pregnancy test. She asked me two weeks ago right before I was expecting my period. She was taking my pulse and mentioned that it was very rapid. When she said it — I immediately thought about the book I’m reading “The Infertility Cure” by Randine Lewis, PhD. It’s a great and inspiring read about infertility, acupuncture and herbs. I’ve learned so much about my body and I definitely recommend it for anyone going through infertility. She recommends taking supplements for different infertility symptoms. Since I found out that my FSH is high (and most likely have PCOS) — I’ve been taking wheat grass, royal jelly, spirulina, coenzyme Q-10, l’arginine, prenatal vitamins — along with the chinese herbs from my acupuncturist. I have to admit that I’ve felt a huge difference after taking them, lots of energy and just an overall good feeling.

In the book, she ends each chapter with a success story and I noticed that in most of them she’d say, “and I knew that she was pregnant right away because her pulse was more rapid than usual.” So when I heard my acupuncturist say mine was faster than usual, of course I immediately thought, could this really be true? She recommended that I take a pregnancy test. That night, after my appointment, I started to spot and I knew my chances of pregnancy were null and that my period would soon follow so I didn’t test. And, my period came, I think. It wasn’t a full period, mostly spotting. I just figured that it was irregular because of the herbs and acupuncture regulating my system.

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leaping into my future

January 19, 2010

It’s been a while since I’ve last blogged. I thought I would give a little update as to where I am with my treatments — and in life. I’ve been taking a few leaps into my future. I’ll start with good news — I passed my real estate license exam. I’m so excited and relieved because it was sooo hard. Right now I’m interviewing with potential brokers. It’s an interesting flip of a situation — as a salesperson you bring money to the brokers so they want you. It’s fun being wooed. So, it’s really up to me who I want to work for.

As for my fertility, I mentioned that we were taking a break and that’s exactly what we did. I needed it. I needed to get back to myself. I really feel like a lost myself during December. The whole process of shots, hormones, blood tests & ultrasounds just didn’t seem right to me. I’m not saying that I won’t go back to my RE but I’m just not ready to yet.

I’ve been doing acupuncture for the past three weeks, and for a person that hates needles, it’s been very interesting. I already feel relaxed and healthy. She’s been giving me these chinese herbs to make teas with — and even though they are the worst tasting and the smelliest things in the universe — I feel a positive difference in my body.

If anything, this process has been more relaxing and regulating for me. I love it and I look forward to my visits every week. I can’t explain it but I feel calm & empowered after each session. Not only that, but I feel like my acupuncturist really listens to me. I didn’t get that with my RE at all. He was always busy and when I talked to the nurse  I felt like she was hurried as well. I felt like Jeremy and I were going through it alone — with no support.

So, that’s my update. Moving forward I will blog about my experience with acupuncture. I’m going to try very hard to keep grounded and not get too obsessed with this process, but I think it will be helpful for me — and hopefully someone else. I’ve found solace in reading other blogs and I hope that someone else can find it here too.

Peace

amour de safran des indes

January 10, 2010

About a year ago when we were on our honeymoon in Paris I kept seeing this beautiful yellow everywhere — especially paired with grey. I fell in love with it. When we got home I craved it and looked everywhere for a duvet cover for our bedroom thinking it would look great with our deep grey walls. I couldn’t find it anywhere. Fast forward a year later, I receive the latest West Elm catalogue in the mail — and here it is — this lovely yellow known as “turmeric” or as they say in France “safran des indes.”

It’s exactly what I need right now during this gloomy, snowy Chicago winter. I need to restrain myself because I want to buy everything.