new beginnings

As the new year approaches, I’m feeling the need to reflect on 2009. This was my year of exploration. I’m learning a lot about myself through this infertility journey and  I I’m a lot stronger because of it.

Our IUI wasn’t successful. We were going to move along with IUI #2 but we found out a few days ago that my FSH is high, 18.6. What I’m just learning is that your FSH levels dictate what your egg reserve is — under 10 is normal — and anything higher is an indicator that I don’t have many eggs left. The nurse said that we can move ahead with IUI #2 but our chances were slim and that we should think about IVF or an egg donor at our next try. Wow! Egg donor?

I just turned 38 on Saturday and boy is that a slap in the face. I really don’t feel old, and even though this birthday was hard because I was expecting to be pregnant, I wasn’t thinking about my actual aging. I guess my body is aging faster than my mind.

My gut is telling me that we need to take a break. After talking with Jeremy, he agreed. So, for the next few months, I will be needle free! Whew, that takes a lot of stress off of me. I really think that there’s a connection between stress and my high FSH level. I’ve been doing a lot of research and have a bunch of fertility books that I am going to read up on. I feel a huge relief and am going to concentrate more on relaxing, meditating and taking control of my life again — just in time for the new year!

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3 Responses to “new beginnings”

  1. Suzanne Says:

    I have a high FSH – and a low AMH and I just want to say that you still have a chance.

    Consider CCRM. Their use of saizen doubled my yield. I went from getting 3 last cycle to a whopping 11 (8 mature).

    I found your site through tag surfer and just wanted to give you that advice and wish you very good luck next year.

    • tina louise Says:

      Suzanne,
      Thank you so much for your comment, I can’t tell you how much it means to me to hear from someone who can relate. In the little research that I’ve done, I’ve heard about CCRM. Right now we can’t afford to travel for treatments but I will keep it in mind when we start back up. I can’t believe the you went from 3 to 11 in just one cycle. What is saizen? Is it an injection? Are you doing IVF? Do you live in Colorado? Sorry to bombard you with questions. I’m just excited to talk to you!

      • Suzanne Says:

        I detailed the whole (well, most of it) story on my blog so read it and weep (ha).

        Saizen is human growth hormone and most doctors don’t believe in it – at 38 you are still making normal embryos most likely so I’d beg, borrow or steal (er maybe not the last part!) to do this sooner rather than later. In fact, I’d even think about getting a job that offers IVF benefits to do it – you don’t want to be doing this in 2 years time – 38 is still young and CCRM is your best shot (my opinion but as you will see, I’ve been around the block) and feel that I can give this advice. Donor egg is a lot more expensive than a cycle with CGH microarray (google or perhaps my website will explain well enough I hope). They create miracles at CCRM – they really do.

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