It’s not looking good. I’m 12 days past my IUI — only two more to go until I really know — but I spotted last night and this morning. Why does it have to be red! It’s like a red hot poker right into my heart. Hear that? My optimism train just left the station.
How does anyone keep their sanity through all of this? I know there are woman who suffer with infertility for years to no avail — I guess I’m still a novice. Wait, no, it’s been over a year since so I think that counts for something.
I recently read a blog about a woman who was purchasing a new calendar for 2010 and reminiscing on how this was her third one to track all of the unsuccessful steps & months of her trying to get pregnant. I guess I’ll be needing another one after this month too. A new calendar to help me keep track of my cycle. Stars for the days I should ovulate, circles for the days I should get my period, and now Xs for when I need to take my shots. As each day, each month and each year passes, my heart gets heavier.
Okay, pity party over. After a good cry and a nice talk with my true love, I feel better. Life is a journey and this part of mine is in the valley right now. But I’m lucky to have the greatest partner by my side and we’ll be making it up that mountain again soon.